interlude: Simone spreads some Christmas cheer.

24 Dec

(Simone is shifting away from butt jokes to philosophical ruminations on death. Here’s a sampling, in honor of the season.)

1.

Simone: When you die, you can’t see anything. You’re just in the dark forever.

2.

Simone (in the car, on the interstate, out to her grandparents tonight): I’m turning vomit into pee back here.

Me: Are you an alchemist?

Simone: Yep.

3.

Simone (after reading a very grim version of “Little Red Riding Hood”): I don’t think anyone is going to kill me. I’m just gonna die.

4.

Simone (about Jesus): Jesus. When he died? Maybe he ate something poisoned?

Beth: No, someone killed him.

Simone (later, about her grandfather who passed away some time ago): Did he eat something poisoned, or did someone kill him, too?

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